The Command to Forgive
Forgiveness is not optional for the believer. In Ephesians 4:32, Paul writes, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." The standard for our forgiveness of others is God's forgiveness of us.
What Forgiveness is NOT
Many struggle to forgive because they misunderstand what it means. Forgiveness is not:
- Forgetting what happened.
- Saying what they did was okay.
- Immediately restoring trust (trust must be rebuilt over time).
The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant
In Matthew 18, Jesus tells a parable of a servant who was forgiven an unpayable debt by his master, but then refused to forgive a small debt owed to him by a fellow servant. Jesus uses this to illustrate the severity of holding onto unforgiveness after receiving grace.
The Process of Healing
Forgiveness is often both a decision and a process. You make the choice to forgive, but you may need to reaffirm that choice daily as emotions resurface. Pray for the person who hurt you (Matthew 5:44); it is one of the most powerful ways to soften a bitter heart.